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Profile 1.jpg) Hello, I'm Evelyn from Malaysia. Turning 20 on the 9th of September 2013. Follow me on this journey of a petite girl from the island of North Borneo as she embarks on life and transitions from a teen to a young adult. It's strange isn't it? How a click could lead you onto a piece of life. Reading about a stranger, word after word, page after page. Are you up for it? viewers Leave a Message Time Travel |
The Many Faces of Yours Truly
 Saturday, 20 April 2013  0 comment(s)
 and the boredom continues..... Sunday Night
Sunday, 14 April 2013 0 comment(s)
The many faces of yours truly. .jpg)   
I'm not naked by the way. I was wearing a tube top.
Natural Ways for Getting Rid of Blackheads
Friday, 5 April 2013 0 comment(s)
A blackhead is basically oil and dirt clogged up in your pore, in a
bunch, it makes your face look like a forest of tiny wild mushrooms. They’re
also a ‘friendlier’ type of pimple (Although whiteheads are still a nightmare to
me). The difference between that and blackhead is; a pimple has skin covered on
them, trapping the ooey gooey gunk in your pore while blackhead does not. It’s
exposed to oxidize and turn to its dark colour.
So let’s cut to the chase!
My nose seems to be my major blackhead area and I hate them! I refuse
to waste Ringgits on those fancy schmancy nose strips that cost as much as a tray
of eggs or a bottle of oil! You know what? Instead of buying nose strips and
probably damaging your skin, how about putting that money to good use and buy
yourself just that! A tray of eggs and a bottle of oil!
“Wait a minute…. WHAT? Eggs and
oil?” you say? Need not to fear! They won’t clog your pores and do damage! Heck! They would even add more benefits PLUS provide you breakfast!
EGG WHITES MASK
This is my favourite method!
Sure the egg whites smell like well… eggs but the result is satisfying!
What you’ll need : 1
Egg (Separate the whites from the yolk) and a paintbrush (optional)
Get your egg whites ready! Use your fingers or paintbrush to spread
the first layer of whites thinly all over your face. Let the layer dry briefly
and spread on another layer. You may want to spread a third layer on
problematic areas.
*Remember to wait for the whites to dry before spreading new layers!
Don’t worry if it starts to tighten up, that’s the whole point of it!
Personally, it’s my favourite part of the treatment!
Wait for 15 minutes, leaving the whites on you face. After that, with a clean
cloth that has been soaked in warm water, carefully and gently scrub off the
whites from your face and pat it dry! I do this 3 times a week or before
putting on make-up to an event.
This method won’t work as well for some people but hundreds and
thousands have admitted that it has work for them, including me! Besides, if it
doesn’t do justice to your blackheads, it’s still a great method to make your
skin look and feel smooth, soft and sometimes porcelain! It’s definitely an
effective method that works either way!
OCM (Oil-Cleansing Method)
Alright, OCM has been by far the most effective way of getting rid of
those pesky blackheads but be honest my Malaysian friends, how many of us have
Extra Virgin Olive Oil and Castor Oil laying around in the house? Not many.
I haven’t had the chance to try this out yet (lacking castor oil) but
most women have sworn by this method and I’ve read one too many testimonials on
its magical powers.
Here’s the a quote from acne.org
Here’s the basic info you need to know before scurrying off to the
nearest supermarket.
Skin Type / Compatible Cleansing Oils
The brief reasons behind it:
Castor oil acts to remove the dirt clogged up in your pore
while EVOO moisturizes your skin.
Whatever combination it is, castor oil should be the constant
ingredient in all combination.
Alright, enough with the science. Here’s how
it’s done:
I have read from many try-ers that after wiping off the oil, they could literally see the dirt that was clogged in tight in your pores on the cloth and there was still some gunk coming out! Only those who have suffered blacheads can imagine the pure satisfaction of seeing those nasty dirt oozing out from those tiny holes!
What are you waiting for? Go to the kitchen and get beautiful! Yes, it works fine on men too! ;) PMS
Sunday, 31 March 2013 0 comment(s)
AHHHHH!!!!!!!!
I feel like a big, fat moose!!
My period
cycle is changing now after 4 months and I feel HUNGRY 24/7 JESUS!!! I
found out that it’s changing because my period’s late; it has been more than 28
days. I GO TO THE KITCHEN AND COME OUT WITH FOOD IN MY MOUTH EVEN THOUGH I’M
NOT HUNGRY! Arrrrghh! I can’t help it! Even if I’m full, I’ll feel like I still
could go for another round 30 minutes after the meal!
This is one
of the best examples on why it’s hard being a girl! You lose weight slower than
men but you could have an uncontrollable appetite than them especially a week or
two before your period! I’m getting bloated! I can feel my tummy skin
expanding, good lawd!
I hate you hormones :’(
Unconscious Encounter Part II
Saturday, 30 March 2013 0 comment(s)
I can’t believe there’s even a part two to this dream!
Yeah, I dreamt of D.K again. Woke up 2 hours ago at around 3AM to the
sound of me making sobbing noises and wet eyes.
In prior, I want to note that I rarely wake up to myself crying. I can
sum up that I would wake up drench in tears about once or none a year!
When it comes to waking up sobbing (without the tears) I would say about once a year. So I would say that it’s a rare occurrence and not a very pleasant
experience. I wish those numbers would cut down to 0 times in a lifetime and
rarely do I ever wake up sobbing and crying over a gaddamn boy?! I mean come
on! Over a boy? Really? D.K never even crossed my mind when I was awake the
whole damn day!
I would lay this entry by first
telling you about the dream then results I found in Google on dream meanings
(lol) and afterwards my interpretation of it.
Here’s how it started:
It began with a boat trip to an unknown location with my family. I had
no clue where we were heading. A new scene pop up and we’re outside a house. I
didn’t recognize the house but I had a feeling it’s a relative’s house. My family
was all dressed up but I was in my laid-back house clothes (oversized shirt and no pants on) with my hair all messed up. I felt that I looked like an
underdressed hobo who just woke up. We felt like we were lost after the boat
trip and looked around for familiar faces. The atmosphere was dark. I went to a
place to look for help and sure enough my crush was there with his girlfriend
coming to our ailing help and I was standing there like, ‘FUCK! I CAN’T BE LOOKING LIKE THIS! I’M NOT WEARING DECENT CLOTHING AND
MAKE-UP! I DON’T EVEN HAVE PANTS ON! WHY DON’T I HAVE PANTS ON?!’
I felt so insecure and unready of facing him and his girlfriend. My
family greeted him warmly and the girlfriend took a seat at one side and she
wasn’t prominent throughout the whole dream. My focus now was on my appearance and
how was I going to face him with no pants on! Lol. We went in to the house and
a family gathering/party or some sort was at brew. I didn’t greeted
him yet by the way and he didn’t seem to noticed me or didn’t bother to noticed me
even though I brushed past him a couple of times. It turned to be his
birthday and my family, his family and his cousins, all to whom were familiar faces to me were there to celebrate. I
went inside the house and brought out his birthday cake while trying my best to hide myself behind it. I lay the cake on the table and stick some candles on
it and quickly went to sit at the back while watching everyone sing ‘Happy
Birthday’ to D.K who’s now standing at the end of the table with his cake. He
was the centre of attention. Somehow the whole guests including my family can
sense that I like him so they made this ‘Wooing’ noises and in my head I was
like, ‘OMG PLEASE SHUT THE FUCK UP’ because I was sitting next to his
girlfriend who appears to be the only one oblivious of my affection towards her
boyfriend. Sure enough my crush noticed the guests’ wooing and came towards me
and I don’t know why I had this idea in my head that he was going to ask me to
dance or something or finally wants to talk to me but all that I could think of
while he was walking towards me was, ‘Do I look decent enough? God, I hope he
likes me’. However… instead of noticing me, he was actually walking towards my
mom who’s sitting at the left front of me. He said to her in his most
gracious and respectful tone, ‘Hi aunty! Do you want to dance?’
I was confused and angry. I was baffled because I wonder why he asked
my mom to dance instead of his girlfriend who’s sitting beside me? And I was
angry because even then, he didn’t even want to say ‘Hello’ to me or even make
the effort to notice me. The dream went on without him or his girlfriend in the
picture. Instead, the party was over and I found myself cleaning up the cups
and cakes from the table and bringing it in to the kitchen at the back. The feeling was
still fresh within me. I had a moody persona while I was cleaning, analyzing
every single aspect of what just happened. A few of my aunties and uncles
noticed my behaviour and I can tell they were gossiping about me and disapproved
of my attitude. I felt insecure. The scene of the dream was irrelevant after
that but it felt as though, a minute or two afterwards, I woken up sobbing
and crying.
The near-accurate interpretation by Google:
My interpretation:
Beforehand, I do believe that my dream has something to do with my
insecurities in reality. I haven’t professed my feelings to my crush nor
do I have the guts to. The last time I talked to him was in May of 2011 during
my sister’s wedding but will see him soon in May of this year for his cousin’s wedding
hence the ‘him not noticing and talking to me’ bit that had me frustrated and the
joyful occasion that took place in the dream. The boat trip obviously depicts the travelling that requires to go to his place (Labuan). I also haven’t met his girlfriend in
real life and not giving much thought about her except that she may be much better
than me which lead her to be not that significant in my dream. In real life, I do
sometimes put on make-up and make
an effort in my fashion choices to be considered ‘appropriate’ in society
and that has always been my routine before going out or meeting new people. I’ve
posted a blogpost not too long ago about ‘Self-Esteem’ which required me
remembering back my past issues (which may still linger at the back of my mind) and I admit that my crush had recently posted a
picture of him and his girlfriend walking down the beach on Facebook and that had got
me a bit jealous but I didn’t thought about it that much after that. I’ve
learnt before that our mind turns into a movie/playground arena when it’s unconscious.
It feeds on our back-thoughts and memories, some that we may not even remember
or given much thought to when we’re awake. In a nutshell, I would say that even
though I wasn’t thinking much about my crush while I was awake, it shows how
much he still means to me even though I’ve stored him away deep in my mind out of respect of his relationship.
A for Asshole
Friday, 29 March 2013 0 comment(s)
Do you know
why people use the term ‘assholes’? Because
everything that they say comes out as shit.
One perfect
example of a person I’ve unfortunately met goes by the name of Aw-- (his real name shall
remain discrete. Although most of you know who it might be already. Let’s call
him Tinkerbelle.)
*Post may be
long due to excessive anger towards this douche*
*If you feel
like you’re the person in the next following descriptions then most probably it’s
you and you should feel bad*
This person
is honestly the first person I ever met in my life that has a combination of
being immature beyond words, a horrible attention seeker, a failure in being competitive,
deceiving, stubborn, fickle (ESPECIALLY FICKLE) and a two-faced persona.
It all started when I entered Pre-U and I saw this person with an arrogant aura radiating from him sooner or later we’re in the same class and he unfortunately became my friend. At first he’s a friendly and funny Muslim fella. Always welcoming us into his house and I honestly appreciated his hospitality but it soon came to an end. 4 months past and he began to be friend with others who I would like to say has a ‘free-spirited’ sort of lifestyle; smoking, drinking, clubbing, staying out late etc… It’s alright if he likes to be friends with other people BUT this person, as he ‘fell in love’ and became jakun with their lifestyle he began to gradually ignore his other friends who’s not up to his current standard. On his birthday in the month of August 2011 was the month I realized of his true colours. As he gave us an exact time 4PM of when we should be in Suria for what he said, ‘a paintball fest’ in conjunction with his birthday. Prior, I should tell you that my dad was against me going to Suria at the time but I made an effort to go because it was my friend’s birthday and it would meant a lot to him if I attend since pretty much his other friends couldn't make it. I should’ve listened to my dad and not go. So, my friend, Serra and I came early like 2PM because we thought he probably wanted to hang out before paintball. Here’s the deal, on his birthday he booked a hotel room far from Suria with his 3 ‘free-spirited’ friends and they hung out to the beach, back and forth to the hotel. So, when Serra and I already arrived, we texted him saying that we’re already in Suria waiting for them and sure enough he said, wait a bit longer and longer and longer and longer until it was 6 fucking PM. We could’ve catch a movie or two if he alang2 told us he’ll be 4 hours late or 2 hours late by his initial time! By that time, it’s already getting late and us mere mortals a.k.a Serra and I weren’t allowed to stay out until it’s dark so we didn’t managed to play a round of anything. We concluded that the day was a TOTAL WASTE but we held our patience and kept our mouth shut. It was as if he didn’t appreciate and respect us at all other than his needs. It was like everyone should follow and value his time instead of ours.
The next or
a few days later in school, I asked Yvette what they did until they were 4
hours late and she complained how Tinkerbelle wouldn’t stop demanding going
back and forth from the hotel to the beach and some other places which caused
her to be so fatigue from driving. At that moment Yvette, Serra and I realized
that Tinkerbelle is not a good person which caused us to give him the cold
shoulders and eventually he sensed it and went all mad like a little bitch
hingga he posted a Facebook status stating that, “I’ll tell everyone your true
colours … and blah blah blah”. He never did told anyone by the way, because he
has no people to agree with him in Pre-U anyway because they know who he really
is and it was just a ‘scare tactic’ of his to be right in the situation. How
stupid. And in my head I was like, “What true colours? As far as I can see
where this is heading, we’re simply showing you the truth while you are the one
with the hidden colours”. Oh and there’s
this one time where he posted a hate status and Yvette accidently liked it. Serra
liked the status as a sign of an acceptance to the challenge (a reason concocted so that Yvette's accidental 'like' wouldn't look like a support to his side) but I didn’t like
the status because I didn’t had the means to go to his profile and do the same. I’m not sure if an egotistical head as Tinkerbelle would think that
they were on his side or something after that.
This bitchy
turmoil of his went on until he wanted to change classes which meant changing
his stream and subject at the end of the year WHICH WAS STUPID because he wouldn’t
be able to catch up and he was so indecisive with his decision that the class
teacher of the other stream was fed up with his excuse. In the end he didn’t change
classes.
Half of the year passed and Yvette who’s a darling forgiver at heart, befriended Tinkerbell and
Serra moved to UiTM to pursue her passion in arts. However, I until this day
will not forgive him because he should be the one asking for forgiveness for his terrible
attitude. I met new and better friends that gave me positive influences which greatly
helped me in boosting my studies rather than the bitch. I left him with his new
found friends and let him make his own mistakes.
One more thing
about Tinkerbelle is that he’s a fickle-minded person. Fickle means quick in
changing ideas and thoughts. At first when Yvette and me wanted to take Law if
our STPM results are good, he quickly changed his ambition from being an Art
Director or anything that has to do with MMU (he got that idea from Serene by
the way) and Arts to Law and he kept telling me that he couldn’t settle for
anything less because his family would shun him *kunun* if he doesn’t have a ‘significant’
career and he was so proud of it you could tell by his facial expression.
Between you and me, I don’t think his family wouldn’t mind him taking anything
as long as he has a successful career. I believe he’s
over-exaggerating that his family is so prominent and shit and that requires him to be as
prominent. It’s such a pity too. His mom is a sweetheart and yet Tinkerbelle
here, … is not. Oh and as much as he doesn’t want to admit it, he pushes his
friends who are not ‘cool’ away and befriended those who are ‘cool’.
Seriously?
So, when
Yvette moved to take her Foundation in Business in Swinburne of course Tinkerbelle
jumped on the bandwagon and wanted to take Business with Yvette. As much as
Yvette wouldn’t admit it publicly, she was lucky to get him out of her hair on
a daily basis and when he met friends that were interested in Fashion Design,
once again the ‘tiada pendirian tetap’ of a person quickly changed his ambition
from Business to Fashion Design. He even said this to me with his bitchy face, “My
brother said that lawyers in Sabah only make 1.3k a month and that’s not
enough! I rather take Fashion Design and open up my own business!”
and I was like okay? Was that supposed to change my view and sting me as well?
Other than
Law my other main interest is English so I wanted to take TESL (Teaching
English as a Second Language). Since Tinkerbelle here loves to compete with me
in English I told him IF he would be
interested in being an English teacher? And I told him this as an encouragement
and as a friend sharing her passion since he never stops sharing his
ever-changing ‘passions’ to me. And do you know what he said to me? I still
remember it clearly until today:
“Can you imagine if I become a teacher while my siblings are a Doctor and a PEMANDU, I would be so embarrassed if I can't live up to them!”
Can you
imagine how ridiculed I felt? I felt as though he thinks being a teacher is a ‘kampungan’
of a career AND again, he wouldn't stop bringing up his oh-so-successful
siblings in the conversation. You know what? NOBODY CARES about your siblings what
matters is if YOU can succeed in
life without the help of your siblings.
At this point, we’re not even sure if your siblings do say those things or you’re
making it up to look as though you’re
more significant than others! By the way, a teacher with a degree has a
starting salary of 2k now because of the new law under KPM. Even my sister’s salary is up to 6k now! But you
never see me boosting to you about that! Because it doesn’t matter what my
sister makes! It matters how I’m going to make MY life instead of feeding off
of my family’s money and fame.
Let me tell
you this Tinkerbelle, as much as you like to boost about your family, let’s
turn the table for a while as I’ve never mentioned to you that my eldest sister
and her husband are lawyers and my brother-in-law is a partner in a law firm in
KL under Datuk Seri Shahrizat’s name or the fact that my brother is a human resource
manager in the same law firm and my other sisters are an industrial psychologist
who studied in the University of Michigan, English teacher and soon to be lecturer and an architect. Have I ever
mentioned these to you while you were busy bringing me down with your egos? NO.
HAVE I EVER MENTIONED TO YOU HOW I AM ALSO STRESSED IN KEEPING UP TO THEIR EXPECTATIONS? NO. HAVE I EVER BOOST TO YOU ABOUT ALL OF THESE WHILE YOU WERE
HOVERING ABOVE ME AND EVERYBODY ELSE WITH YOUR WOODPECKER FACE? NO.
Tinkerbelle
here is also competitive with me when it comes to English specifically MUET. I’m
not sure why he’s like that. It's an advantage to befriend people no matter what they’re
good at so that we can share our knowledge and be successful together. For the real MUET (Malaysian University English Test) exam, he obtained Band
4 and I obtained Band 3. My mark was only 1 less to getting Band 4 and the
difference between his mark and my mark was only 7. He went around the Pre-U
block back and forth from the other class to our class and wouldn’t stop mentioning about his
Band since he and Frances obtained the highest in Pre-U and of course most of the students bad-mouthed him because they think that he’s overdoing it with the pride while Frances remains quiet and humble. I wanted to congratulate him until…..he
said this to me with his pity-bitchy-face mode on,
“Evelyn… are you mad?”
WoahWoahWoah.
I wasn’t even mad at you until you brought that up! I was engrossed in
disappointment because of my result but NEVER
WAS I MAD AT YOU FOR GETTING HIGHER THAN ME. I AM SO NOT YOU. How
big-headed could you possibly be to assume that people are mad or jealous of
your result? MUET is not everything! STPM was our main focus to obtain
good results!
Oh
and he hates living in Malaysia (Except KL) he always mentions how he would go abroad and
leave Sabah and Malaysia to live in New York or some jagged-up ass hipster of a
place and he once told me that he wouldn’t be caught dead studying in UMS (Universiti
Malaysia Sabah) because well, it’s in Sabah but now as he has received his
results, all he wants is to study International Relation in UMS but I’m not
sure if his result is qualified enough to be accepted in UMS and get this, now he's interested in TESL. Tinkerbelle,
sometimes… we need to be grateful for the little things in life because who
knows? We may bitch and bitch of what we don’t want and in the end, we get nothing.
You’re a anak Datuk and your sister bought you a car, you have the freedom to
roam around and go out as you please and yet… you’re not grateful? I don’t get
it.
You
said that your dad is cheating on your mom in Indon and I am honestly
very sorry for that. No child wants to see their father cheat on their
beloved mother but dear, that isn’t an excuse for you to be ungrateful for your
life.. My dad got divorced from his first
marriage because he was cheating which then resulted to a baby with the woman. Then my dad
married my mom and he cheated on her with another woman which also led to another
baby and this baby was 1 year younger than me which caused me to think that my birth was the reason that my dad didn’t want my mom anymore. Look, I don’t want
pity from any of you. My point is, that’s our dad’s mistake not ours. We
should be grateful nonetheless that our dads are still active in our lives and
married to our moms. It may not be that significant but it’s a blessing in a
rugged situation that they are still there and that’s something that we should
be grateful of. We shouldn’t dwell in our parents’ problems we should dwell on
ours and improve ourselves for OUR future, you understand?
After
STPM was over, I felt as though heavy burdens were lifted from my shoulders not
only in the form of school and studies but the burden of this person.
So I signed up to retake my MUET Exam as a private candidate because the Degree courses that I want requires a minimum of Band 4 and since I was 1 mark less to Band 4, I might as well retake it for my own good. Let’s just see how this one turns out. I was really careful to not be careless this time and I hope my MUET result turns out as well as I hope it would be. But of course Tinkerbelle here wasn’t satisfied with his MUET result even though Band 4 is just-the-nice score to fulfil the MUET requirement for university courses. Again, he brought up his siblings as an excuse for him wanting to retake MUET but in my opinion, he just wanted to be the best than everyone else so that he has something to bluff on even if it means wasting RM101 for the MUET registration. How immature. Your Band 4-in-Maktab days are long over. What matters is STPM. MUET is not as important if you already obtained a secure Band 4. Can you apply a significant course by actually ace-ing your MUET but your STPM or SPM doesn't cut it? Nope. It’s those two latter that counts the most unless your main reason to retake MUET is to feed your ego.
Learn from my mistake; trust your intial gut because a cover of a book can be more appealing than it's content. I have learnt that I should be more careful in choosing my friends and so should you too because a friend can indeed influence your life by
adding or lessening your stress. In this case, he made my Pre-U life annoying, In the end, at least my STPM result is satisfying and I've checked that my result
is qualified in UPM and UUM for the courses that I’m passionate in.
‘Ignore those whom bitch
about you and focus on moulding your life rather than theirs’
has always been my words of encouragement throughout this trial and it worked. In contrary, I thank God for bringing this type of person into my life even if it is for a short and painful while because it became a constant reminder who I do not want to be and be associated with.
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