Why can’t I get this annoying infatuation out of my head? Why are we cursed to love someone we can’t have? Why does this chemical that causes infatuation stay in our body longer?

This is the third unconscious encounter I had of D.K. I wasn’t even thinking about him! I was perfectly fine idling my life away in reality, gone to sleep and POOF! It starts. I’m starting to think these dreams are false hopes concocted by some demon who craves disappointments. There are some facts that states ‘if a person suddenly appears in your dreams when they never even crossed your mind, that means he or she is thinking about you.’

I’m not sure how true it is but it has happened to some of my friends. Unfortunately, the same luck doesn’t really occur to me –being thought of by a crush --.

It started in a room. I had a feeling that I was going to put on a show – being on stage --. So I went to the make-up room and applied powder to my face. As I was preparing myself, I saw a girl stomping angrily towards the elevator at my right. At first I was like, ‘What’s her problem?’ and as I watched her pressed the button, D.K ran towards her and tried to console her. My interest peaked as I saw the two of them quarrelling. I felt awkward so I decided to continue on with my make-up. I glanced at them and the elevator door opened, the girl entered while D.K stood outside with his head down. I didn’t know what was going on between those two and I didn’t bother to ask him.

I woke up. Puzzled but still tired. I went back to sleep.

The scene changed. We were walking around KK city. It looks different. I didn’t recognize the building structures but it looks better than the real deal, almost. The sun was glaring down as my mom, sister, D.K, his girlfriend and I crossed the street on our way to the place that would hold their wedding reception. D.K was walking besides me and his gf was having a conversation with my sister in front of us as we’re walking. I felt strange. My heart was aching. I could feel it even if it was just a dream. Knowing that we were heading towards their reception hall gave me an unnerving feeling in my gut. I glanced up at D.K as we were walking and thought to myself, ‘this is exactly what I’m afraid of.’

We arrived at the hall and it was half prepared for the ceremony. My mom and sister were stapling some things on the big board. I was sitting besides D.K drinking alcohol -- if I remember correctly -- and his gf was not far from us, talking to some people. Again, I felt strange. ‘Why am I sitting next to him?’ I thought to myself. I wanted to sit up and help my mom but some kind of force glued my ass to the chair. We were both quiet. He got a bit tipsy and said to me, “I actually love YOU… Evelyn.”

I sat there in shock, mortified but quietly happy and relief to hear those words from him but the scenario that we were in was not appropriate – of course --. Everyone stopped their work and conversation, the whole place was silent. All eyes were on us in disbelief. I changed my focus to my mom and sis, wide-eyed with a ‘what the fuck just happened’ expression on my face. They were smiling. My mom broke the silence by saying, “Bagus la! Are we going to have a wedding or what?”

I felt guilty for some reason, because I felt they have been working hard for D.K and his gf’s wedding and there he was confessing out loud, making me look like a home-wrecker. I glanced at his gf who was grinning with a hint of sadness, she was walking towards me, grabbed a chair and took a seat in front of me waiting for me to say something.

‘Oh no.’ was the only thought that was running through my head.

I summoned the courage and said, “I’m sorry! He doesn’t mean it! He was drinking! I’m sorry!!”

I woke up. Still tired but able to feel the excess feeling of my ache, awake. I went back to sleep wanting the dream to change.

The scene changed once again and D.K wasn’t in it. His girlfriend suddenly became a flat mate of mine in an haunted apartment. She became a witch – lol I know right? I was like wtf happened? – who had the intention of hurting me for destroying her relationship.

Let’s just say I woke a lot after that from fear and annoyance.

Yeah so, I don’t know. I want to vent it all out here. My money is still on a mythical demon from hell that likes to torture and give me false hope while I’m unconscious.

This is so fucked up.