My sister’s husband’s cousin a.k.a my sister’s childhood friend’s wedding was held last Tuesday (28^th May) and I actually dreaded this date because one, I’m not a fan of wearing high heels for long hours and two, D.K was there. D.K is also the bride’s cousin as well as my bro-in-law.

The morning of the celebration came and the church ceremony was perfectly beautiful but I was anticipating for D.K’s presence; turning my head every once in a while to see if he’s there. I was rather nervous of seeing him again after two years. I mean, I really like this guy. To be honest, I didn’t thought he would make it to the wedding because he just got back from Beijing. So, the mass ended and the usual group/family pictures were taken in front of the altar with the bride and groom. I stood next to my dad for the group photo and turned to my left, there he was! Standing next to me and smiling. I gave him a hug (involuntarily) but a restrained one because I didn’t want to freak him out heh. He gave me a hug and shook my hand. He held my back with his arm as we took the pictures and I never felt happier than I was at that very moment. Here I was, waiting two years for this wedding just to see him again after talking for so long, knowing that we both have feelings for each other. Didn’t thought he would make it, finally gave up the thought that he would be there and he ended up standing beside me for the group picture…..and holding my back! My hands were so cold after that from the nervousness but I think I hide it very well :p

We didn’t manage to see each other at the church after that because his family had to take more pictures with the bride and groom since they were immediate family members. My parents wanted to go home a.s.a.p because the weather was humid and my mom had a hair appointment so we left but I was excited for the reception later that night!

During the reception at Putra, my parents and I came early because I had to usher in the guests to their seats but all I could think of was, 

‘When is D.K going to be here? When is he going to be here? Is he even going to be here? Has he returned to Labuan already? No.. That’s impossible he couldn’t miss his cousin’s wedding reception.’ 

Those thoughts were running through my head like a battlefield as I walked through guest after guest hoping one of them would be D.K. I even took the liberty to check his name on the list so I know which table number he'll be sitting on! When he finally arrived, heh and let me tell you this, mostly, guys would be the one down the stairs overlooking their crush as she comes down, but in this case, I was the one at the foot of the stairs looking up at my crush as he came down and he smiled at me. It was as if time stopped. He came up and gave me a hug. I wanted that moment in time to just stop. 

To not get my tongue all tied up, I asked him as I have asked the other guests, 

"Do you know your table number already?"

He said with the most charming smile, 

"No, not yet.. but I’m sitting next to Jonathan they all :) (his cousins) " 

"Let me look it up for you!"and walked him towards the name list that has been pasted on a board. I already knew his table number prior to his arrival but I needed a reason to spend time with him even if it was just for a moment.

“You’re at table number 59. It’s right over here.” I showed him the seating chart. 

“Let me walk you over there :)” I said.

“Okay! :D” He replied.

As I walked him towards his table I knew… I knew from that very moment this will be the last time I see him throughout the night.

“There’s your table right there!” I said as I pointed towards the direction of his table. 

“Thank you! See you later ah! :D” He said. I smiled but knew that the ‘later’ would be a long one…

My table was no.7, waay in front and his was at the very back. It was hard to maneuver around the ballroom to pass by his table without a proper reason, you know? So I let fate take place. Luckily my little niece wanted to go potty in the middle of the reception and in my heart I was like, ‘YES! I GET TO PASS BY HIS TABLE!’ while on the outside I was subtle and said, “Okay Sammy. Aunty will bring you to the washroom.” It was a rather funny moment in the eyes of desperation now that I thought about it!

So as the night was ending and the music began to turn to a slower pace, I was hoping he would ask me to dance. I switched seats to table no.2 where my parents were sitting to stall them from going home too early (oh yes, if you waited for 2 years, you would do anything). Bryan (Serra would know this person) asked me to dance but I said no because I didn’t want to give D.K the wrong idea if he saw us on the dance floor.

So I sat at the table, phone at hand and looking over the dance floor where all the couples were dancing and thought to myself, ‘Maybe he doesn’t like me anymore? I shouldn’t put too much hope on this any further…’ I can feel my heart was shrivelling up into a crumpled paper. My hands were going colder and I can feel the tears swelling up but didn’t want to make it obvious since I was sitting next to my parents and relatives. So I went to the washroom every now and then to get the ‘cold’ out of my system.

When I came back, my parents were already saying their goodbyes and walking towards the exit. At that moment, I saw that D.K was standing at table no.1 (just besides the table I was sitting on, waiting!). He was talking to his relatives and taking pictures since they rarely see him and his parents.

As I stood at the exit, waiting for my parents to come over, I looked at him and confirmed to myself that it probably wasn’t meant to be. I went home, entered my room and just lost it. I cried. I had a good cry though, letting it all out of me, sinking it all in. I took a nice long shower and went on facebook. I saw that D.K was online and said to him,

“Tidak sempat say bye to you tadi. Gonna miss you people yang jarang jumpa!”

“Aw…I was thinking to bring dance tadi” He said.

“I would’ve said yes if you asked ealier” I replied.

That sentence…… that damn sentence made my day and made me want to strangle a pillow!

I felt a bit regretful for going home early but I know it was inevitable since it was my parents’ call and not mine. So I know in my heart something good will come out from this, somehow, someday. It may be for another 2 years or 2 months but one thing is for sure, there’s something there.

Now, he’s back in Labuan. Back to his life and I’m… well, here.  There’s still sparks even though it tends to rain. Fate has its games and we’re in it.

Oh and on the same note, my parents know that D.K and I have mutual feelings for each other and they actually approve of him. My dad is pushing me to ‘tackle him’ soon and make him his son-in-law but my mom wants me to at least get a degree first. Parents… they tend to surprise you.