Hello once again! 

I want to share with you guys an experience of mine that started rather bitter and sour but ended sweet as a McDonalds’ vanilla ice-cream. 

Rewind back to 7 years ago where it all started. I was 13 years old, a freshman in SM St. Francis Convent. To be honest with you, I was a nerd, tad plump and the shortest in class. Hair was long tied back super tight in a ponytail, skin was dull, gap-teeth, baby-face, loner. I spend most of my time not socialising for the first year. I would sit alone, with a friend if lucky. I would go to the library to read and borrow English fiction books during recess. You can say I was a low-class introvert. I had no real friends just passersby that needed someone to talk with for a while so they won’t look alone. You know, that type of person.

So during my years in the school, I used a school bus to and from school and well, like most school bus life there would be different personalities clashing. My experience as a freshman in the school bus was unpleasant to say the least. Some girls (same age and school) in the bus were those types who were rough, loud, loves to gossip and were rebels. In a more local term, ‘tomboys-wannabe-but-appear-more-as-‘pilaks’-who-never-studies’. I didn’t use Malay as my daily dialogue when I was at that age; I was more comfortable using English. They however were the exact opposite of me. Perhaps that may be one of the reasons I got bullied by them most of the time. They would gossip about me right in front of me so that I would get their point, they would form a group and leave me at one corner not wanting me to join in. I heard them calling me fat, weird, loner, pity. Sad right?

Perhaps the saddest part of them all was me trying to fit in their group. I was so tired of being called a fat loner especially during those bus rides that I changed my personality to be more like them in order to get friends. Ugh… dear God, what was I thinking? Sure it worked for a bit. They talked to me but they still talked behind my back but it didn’t matter to me at that time because I finally had some friends and those bus rides were less lonely and hurtful. However, I soon came to realization that I deserved better than this. I’m not one of them. I’m not a low-life-low-graders who drag others down, gossips behind their back and talk disgusting nonsense. So I choose to distant myself which of course made it worst but I didn’t care now. I tasted their friendship and it wasn’t right. They still bullied me. Treated me like shit like I’m no better than them.

So I studied hard. God did I studied for freshman year. I wanted to change. Change for the better. Be my own individual. I didn’t care about being isolated in the bus, it gave me time to read some books and visualised my life ahead if my work paid off. The next year, I got into the second best class. Faaaaar away from those girls. I befriended a lot of new people who shares the same interests as me. Most of them are still my best friends today! And God knows how thankful I am for them. I became less of a hermit and gradually became braver to talk to others. They taught me the value of education, hard work, diligence and the next year after that; I again got into the second best class with my new found friends and more! Life was getting better and those bullies were further away from my thoughts. They don’t matter to me, they don’t faze me anymore.

High school came and I got into class Science Technology which is a good class considering it’s in the ‘Science’ stream category. During my final two years in SFC, I joined Interact Club after months of probation. I became more active in extracurricular activities in school; I met new people from different schools. Participated in events, charity work and had an incredibly good time! It uplifted my spirit to work harder in my studies for my SPM examination on my final year in SFC and I could honestly say it paid off. Results came, I got into Pre-U, and some of my friends went to do their diplomas and A-Levels. We were actually going places.

During my first year in Pre-U, I went out with some of my friends from school and we stopped over to a McDonalds’ stall that sells McFlurry and ice-cream. The next thing you know, one of the girls who bullied me, is working at the counter, taking our order. As a considerate person, I asked her how she was doing and if she’s studying at the moment. She said she doesn’t have interest in studying for now. One of my friends from school asked me, who she was and my former bully replied, ‘Kita satu geng bah dulu.’

I was completely appalled at that honestly. Could you imagine? We were never a ‘gang’. I had the urged to say, ‘you bullied me, remember? You made my life hell!’ but I didn’t. I didn’t want to seem obnoxious. I gave a tiny laugh and quickly said bye. What else can you say? What’s past is past. The quote, ‘Let the past make you better not bitter’ really plays with me. Whoever the anonymous person that said this probably had one hell of a past to come up with that.

Fast forward to the present, I graduated from Pre-U and now waiting for my placing in University to do my degree as well as my wonderful friends who we shared many trials, tribulations and fond memories together to get to this point.

I do feel sorry for the people who bullied me for their path now has been blurred to zero vision of their imminent future. I pray to them that they may find their correct path and change their ways.

I think there should be a moral to the story here, right?

Well, the moral of the story is, ignore those who look down upon you. Focus on yourself, be a better person, mould a solid base for a brighter future and one day, eventually, you’ll be the one above. It’s your choice on how to look at a problem; you can be the one who suffer psychological issues or you can seize the day.

Do you know that cheesy quote, ‘Take revenge by showing them you’re happy.’?

Rest assured that tip works.

“Bullying is temporary. Your choice is permanent.”

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